Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

not who i was

Sinister claws at my mind
Ripping in two
these thoughts of mine

Sinister words at my tongue
Screaming evil words
From deep in my lungs

Sinister thoughts at my heart
Tearing this person
Who I was apart


I don't know who I am
Or why I'm destroying
Everything I was
I don't love who I've become
Or why, what life I had left
I threw out last night


Evil times we are in
Evil trances
Take root from sin

Evil people we are now
Tearing friendships
Down along with vows

Evil ideas we think
Trying our hardest in
Adversity not to blink


I don't know who I am
Or why I'm destroying
Everything I was
I don't love who I've become
Or why, what life I had left
I threw out last night


But I've become something
I can't stand
I'm the very person I once hated
I hate this filthy hand


I don't know who I am
Or why I'm destroying
Everything I was
I don't know why I left
To be replaced with
This monster I've become


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~Daniel Hanson

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Destiny

Yeah. Life. I don't know what to make of it. It has its' ups. But also its' many downs. I wish sometimes I could make my own destiny. I can only make choices in my destiny. I can't choose who I meet and who the people I meet meet. And no I'm not selfish. I can just become very perturbed when told one thing and then come to find that it is in fact very different.

Destiny. I find it to be the making of what could become a great or useless life. Destiny must be thought of carefully. It seems to twist around that which we come to respect as life. It puts its' fingers in wherever it feels like. Yet we have the choice of how it affects us. We can hold on to a little hope knowing we can change our destiny with a single choice. Yet destiny will always return somehow to haunt us. Destiny isn't how your life plays out. That's up to one person. You. Destiny is who you meet, what freak accident puts you in harms way. You then decide how to handle what destiny has given you. Do you except the person who would become your friend, or laugh at them and walk away? And how will you ever know which would have been the better choice? You can only make one. And when that accident takes place and you have but 2 seconds to react, you either make the right or wrong decission. Death? Life? Which would you rather?Which is easier to cope with?

I find it easier to cope with myself being dead. But I have to ask myself where the adventure is without the pain. There may be lows but they add to the highs. Still. Dying will always be easier than living. Once you're in the grave you have no more choices. You're either going to Heaven or Hell. Destiny. Destiny doesn't decide that. You, again have the right to change your destiny.

We all see our troubles as the worst. And honestly you can tell me your's are worse than mine. I probably won't say anything in reply. Inside I'll say, "Aw... You just may be right. But then again, how could you know? You have never been through what I have. Sure your brother/sister died a horrible death. You want me to feel sorry for you? Isn't that what we all want? You don't know what I go through inside on a daily basis. I as well don't kow what you go through."

We can't rightly say how bad our life is compared to others. If we could rate our life, all the highs and lows and choices, good and bad, and everything else, then we could say, "My life is HORRIBLE!!!!!! But yours is slightly worse." We really don't know.

Does destiny even really exsist? Well i don't know. But if it does, mine is way worse than yours! ;-)