As many of you may know (all two of you who read my blog) I am attending college. It seems life gets very hectic when you like to play, yet you must work and attend college at the same time. I wish I was the perfect example of someone who kept up on homework, worked a job, wrote stories (that got published, although I've never tried and none of them are complete), and was still able to live a somewhat normal friendly life. However this is not the case. I am always doing my homework at the last minute barely have enough money for gas and definitely not enough to get my car repaired (when its wheels may at any given time fall off). I barely get the chance to write, although I have a passion for writing in many different forms including; stories, poetry, songs, journalism, and such.
College is more demanding than I would have liked, taking up three days and then several hours out of the rest of my week, then throwing work into the mix and leaving me with a few nights, church has always been there and shall always stay (I'd only give up church for missions and touring), and everything else. I feel desperately lost in a mess that I'm trying to put into words. Can't make tails end of it? Let me try and write it more simply.
Okay, here we go. I desperately long for days when I can go out into the creation of our God and just sit and think hours upon hours. I love the Autumn times when the leaves fall and cover the ground, and when the breeze is cool and smooth. I like having to wear several layers. I like sitting and writing stories for an hour or two a day. I like writing a poem or song every so often as well. I long for times when i can sit undisturbed for hours playing music on the piano or guitar. I enjoy the first signs of winter when the cold rains come down and the ground is all frosted over in the morning. I don't mind having to run out to my car in the freezing weather and then sit for five minutes trying to stay warm. Unlike the majority of people I know I enjoy a freezing day where rain turns to ice as it lands on you. I'm not afraid of getting a bit wet (or soaked). In essence I enjoy the simpler parts of life. I will go to a coffee shop with a book or a friend or music and sit for an hour.
Lately, however, I have not had the time to do a lot of this. I have had my simple life invaded by a busy scheduled life. Well really I need to make a schedule and that will probably solve some of my problems. I have never had to live by a schedule and I can see where that would've helped much now. It's just getting that down into practice. I need to make a plan for my life. I feel suffocated by the fact that I could lose my car (and I might die too which I don't think that's God's will) but I don't have enough money to repair my car. I need to do something yet I feel so lost in this mess that I don't know how to act. That's really what gets me...
O by the way... I also need at least, let's say $2,000.00 for a mission trip next summer... Yep!
~Daniel
